Dom Perignon '53

Naturally the edge would have to go with the muscled semi-cyborg Grinder, as he has a considerable height and weight advantage over, to be perfectly frank, a jolly beardy with wings. Blackpool pier would give the older thespian the home advantage, but this isn't the reason he would win. As we all know from Mean Arena, The Grinder is susceptible to taking a fall if the situation merits it, and what better situation for a thrown fight than fighting a bear in fur pants who keeps yelling "DEEEE-IVE!" to the chilly north western sea winds?

On the subject of waghand names, yes, Benjamin Natanyahu is decidedly chucklesome, although my two favourites from the modern era (the Victorian age was a hotbed of strange namery, and is thus overlooked) are the American Skier, Peekabo (pronounced boo) Street, and the Harlem Globetrotter, Meadowlark Lemon. You'll also be pleased to hear that waghandary has yet another outpost, in the form of the Fukuoka production of the musical, Beauty and the Beast, which happened to be our school trip yesterday.

Ok what about this for a scenario...

Ernst Stavro Blofeld (the guy from From Russia With Love and Thunderball - the guy whose face you never see) versus Dr No in a game of chess, the prize being world domination. Who wins and why?