Friday, February 24, 2006

A luvverly ice cream from our yoof...

Aye, it looks like I will be Blighty bound at the end of March for a short 'moon. The stupid way that schools work here, teachers are expected to come in and twiddle their thumbs during almost every one of their official holidays, but not me. I'm leaving this donjon for good on the 22nd of March and that's that! I'll drive a herd of champing swine through the halls of needs be, but there is no way that I'm going to piss away days off on this limp-wrist bureaucracy whazz...

Tonight sees one of the only TV shows I watch in Japan - 2nd House, a chortleworthy tale about some randy young salarymen that club together to rent a "love-apartment", only for one of them to relinquish it to a foxy little scorcher (in the words of David Underwood) and fall in love with her. Despite being married to a May May type, he fancies the pink and white panties off the aforementioned scorcher and she feels the same, but being very Japanese they dither about and get into such jolly scrapes...

TV here is 1 part class, 9 parts arse. Last night there was Championship Pig Training (class), but there was also a drama about boring ugly women cooking and crying and failing to act their way out of a paper bag (arse). Last week there was will your dog protect you in the event of a violent home attack? (class), but also a variety show in which old women wear kimonos, cry and sing badly (arse).

Sorry, I have to cut this post short... I have to go and teach. Actually, I will sit there and make a kentoon whilst they study for their kanji test...

Thursday, February 23, 2006

98 Skate

Easy there, Mai! Hope that you have fantastical good luck at your Uni Interview!! If My good buddy KenshiroSan tells me you are an excellent student then you will certainly fare well at the doubtless hot and tempremental grilling the University will doubtless give you. Make sure he makes a curry for you some time.

So wherefore ist thou 'oneymoon? I'll wager a boatload of bullion against a barrel of shit that your back to blackpool in dear old blighty, gawd bless it, and I'll doubtless see you waltzing up and down the pier wearing a "kiss me quick, squeeze me slowly" baseball cap and swigging from a can of carlsberg export, no doubt. Ah....those days when you were nowt but a wee lout, with years of careful training you have become my finest protoge

Ninety Seven

Poncing around, climbing Cobbler, whatever the hell that may be, and shooting arrers at things... sounds like a Diamond kind of holiday and no mistake..

I'm currently rereading Shogun again. I think this is the 9th time, though it could well be the 10th. Whenever I read that passage in which Rodrigues talks about the Kingdom of Naples I imagine you mincing around in Elizabethan garb, feather in your cap, someone with a lute somewhere nearby. A number of people here are a bit incredulous that I should be reading a book more than twice, let alone 9 times. Clearly not readers...

In the fashion started in the Summer with the words of Anjin Choi, I hearby introduce another of my students, Mai, who is heading to the mainland for an important University interview this weekend. As well as being as well-mannered and polite as can be, she is also a fine English student and has been a pleasure to teach. With no further ado, over to Mai:


Hello. I am pleased to meet you. In fact, today I am nervous. On Saturday I will attend an interview for my university future. I am worried that I should fail! And other things. But I will do my best. Goodbye.





Whu-cheers Mai! Take the fight to those beastly Bembridge Scholars! And don't forget to pause for elevenses!

As for you, Diamond, your pressie will be dispatched with Tangerine Flick on the next tide (Green Tea Flick was unfortunately lost in the Pacific and went down with all hands and cargo).

Well, ho hum.. I am soon to be entering the last month of employment with the high school, and I feel grand. With joss, there'll be just enough time between the end of this job and the start of the next to fit in me 'oneymoon (as 'arold Shaaand would say). With a birthday on the horizon, I have been pestering Yo-chan for a Nintendo DS with the fantastic game DS Training for Adults. Will she yield? Her leg! There's still time...

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

Can you believe it's ten years since '96????

Shiznae! Ahem, yes indeed, I have moved into my new place, which is unfortunately not a tea-house, and more a....errrrmmm....how best to say....."Shag Pad"?, "Love rooms"?, "Lair of Sordid and restoration-like pornography, decadence and scandal that would rival the hellfire club in Nikolai Dante"? I just like to call it "the Flat".

It's pretty cool, immacutely tidy, considering that we have no storage room whatsoever and kitted out with the most up-to-date juicers and blenders you can buy!! Every morning I rise to my Lovely lady handing me a bizarre concoction of fresh fruit whizzed about by some metal blades until it yields it's sap. Every day I consume more fruit than in the entire year of 1996...which is nothing short of stunning!

Mr Alpha was a little suprised to discover that you are now a-wedded and If you haven't forwarded on your piccies to him then you should as I think it would brighten his mood a little, besides, he probably wants to critique your hair style, see if it matches your shoes and goes well with the aroma of peaches or some shit. Did you hear that the boy alpha, having survived a tour of Basra with nerry a scratch has returned to Norwich and nearly blown his hand off in a freak model rocket accident? Get him to send you the piccies, they really are rather disgusting! He looks like he has John Merricks mitts!

Anyways, I have to go and get in aa tizzy and smoke some new herbal high called spice, and then sell it to the good people of Norwich, worse l;uck...oh the things I do for my business!

Should also check out www.outdoorspirals.co.uk which is a activity camp run by my mate Dan. Going there for my Easter Hols, climbing the mighty cobbl;er and shooting arrers at things. Should be tres cool.

Wo Kannst Mann ins Kurume Gehen?

Wednesday, February 08, 2006

Castle Donnington '95

Ahh, curry roll... it's been a long time since I had one of those. Almost as long as it's taken you to reply. No doubt you've been mincing around your herbal shop, "getting into a tizzy" over whether Russell Grant will survive in Celebrity Fit Club (non-celebrity fat club).

Cheers for the pointer to chavscum... I did happen to chance upon it a few weeks back, but I would quite like a second viewing. Allow me to offer a recommendation of my own - http://www.mullet.com/

Look hard enough and you will find a photo of you, with your surrogate parents from the days of Bon Jovi jeans and hair spray...

So have you moved into your new place yet? I did receive an address in an email... if so, what is the new gaff like? Will it also be a tea house?

Do you remember '94?

Ahhhhh...the smell of curry roll just entered my nose whilst walking the streets of the city, took me back, I can tell you. A time before internet connections and mobile phones, when MP3 was nerry a glimmer in someones eyes and big brother was actually a terrifying reference to 1984, when Men were men and we smuggled ourselves into pulp Fiction after working out out birthdays (April the 1st! Ha!) and not going to see disclosure...cue much DMke merriement and shooting Nicky in the back of the head repetedly with 9mm pistols (we should have fucken shotguns man!) . Still Time marches on and now I snipe at the various Chav's wandering around bereft of hope or purpose. Check out www.chavscum.co.uk for more info on this new and hilarious group of miscreants!