25ct gold

Ahh yes... let's face it, any lesson would be good with Lucy Liu teaching it. But which of her characters for which lessons? Maybe Pearl from Payback for games... perhaps Ling Woo for.. well, everything.

Sometimes it seems as if we were never at highschool, due to the fact that things have changed so much. And then something miniscule will happen, like a faraway radiosong or the scent of something, and it's as if we are back in 1996, thinking 1996 thoughts and making 1996 plans. I seem to recall that once in c7, as Wilson took the inevitable cheese sandwiches from his pocket, our gazes met for an instant and the unspoken sentence was "we should remember these days".

By the way, it seems that we have our first comment... a girl called Ashlee, who has a blog of her own and lists titties, dating, pubic, voyeurism, sex, breasts, porn, and exhibitionism amongst her interests. Well huzzah!

An idea... let's refresh our memories and devote some webspace to some of the people that made highschool memorable for us... seeing as Wilson was mentioned, please allow me to set his scene, as it were.

Wilson was a fairly solid lad, which didn't lend him to his class, Edmund, who were famous for their sporting prowess. However, he was an invaluable ballast piece in the chess game that was highschool rugby, and had some modicum of fame in that area. Wilson, or Wils as he was sometimes known, would have been rather unremarkable were it not for the fact that he only ever ate cheese sandwiches. That's right, a diet of only cheese sandwiches, and on extremely rare occasions bread and butter, when there was no cheese. Wilson was a cheerful, ambling kind of a guy, and on my recommendation started to watch Prisoner Cell Block H for a few weeks, but sadly didn't keep up the habit. He was a little scruffy, and by his own admission looked like he had just staggered fully clothed from a big bed. I often wonder whether Wils still only eats cheese sandwiches. There must be long term medical consequences, but that aside it would be rather jolly if he were able to eat cheese sandwiches for the rest of his life.

2wenty 3hree

I hear you... despite some very interesting stuff at high school, there was an awful lot of irrelevant rubbish that could have been better spent teaching us things that we would need in the real world. Instead of "take our daughters to work day", why didn't they do "take our sons and daughters into a bank and show them how to cash a cheque, withdraw money and open an account"? Or "show our sons and daughters how to change a tyre, replace a fuse, do odd jobs around the house"?

Instead of making chocolate bars and watching videos on nutrition, Home Economics should have been called Cooking, and we should have been shown how to make basic meals, work with a budget and maximise ingredients. When my mum was in high school, there was a flat on the school grounds, and every weekend, two students were chosen to live there. They had to do all the housework, do the shopping on a budget and other little jobs, and then on sunday evening they had to prepare a meal for the headmaster and some other teachers. It's a fantastic idea! The trouble is the Left strangled it back in the 1970s for being sexist.

How about doing useful stuff in Textiles? Rather than make stupid trinkets that would never be used again, why weren't we taught to repair clothes, and use the sewing machines to repair curtains and make clothes? The only reason I remember Textiles at all is that, as you know, I once spent the entire lesson walking around the room, and seeing how far I could go without being caught. I can't remember how many laps I did, but it lasted the entire lesson.

Graphics was always good... we actually learned a lot of really useful things about technical drawing and elementary geometry.

Art similarly good... apart from the lessons when the scourge of our lives, Mrs Ryder, would fill in, and we would draw a load of pots and bottles on a table.

Drama was the biggest doss of all... there were a handful of lessons where we had to act Shakespeare, but much of it was just playing games and making up little acting things. Nonetheless, it was a good confidence builder, and I now use killer wink in some of my lessons here in Japan, and it works like a dream.

Music was always fun, and there was some good stuff early on about reading and writing music.

Science was genereally shite... we didn't get to study any of the interesting stuff (black holes, chaos theory, viruses, explosions) and Aldous treated us all like 5 year olds. I still maintain that I learned more about the three Sciences sat next to Max Dann in a Diss factory for a year than the 5 years of Double Everything.

English was good. There was plenty there to be learned.

Geography and History were both ok, although again we didn't get to study any of the really interesting things (tsunami, the history of the planet, Eastern History, the Victorian era).

Games was good... I loved playing all the sports, except Tennis (which we turned into... what? I can't remember the name... we used to blast balls at eachother and have a kind of war... can you remember the name?) and Gymnastics, which tended to involve rolling onto a mat and doing a few squat thrusts...

R.E was a mixed bag... it was pretty glossed over, but at least we got to learn a little about the other religions of the world, albeit a little superficially...

French and German were always entertaining, due to the antics of the students, and some of the lessons were occasionally interesting, but as a way of getting us to speak French and German they were awful... reading from a text book a daft conversation about you staying in Paris for the summer and offering to work in the local shop for free can't help you to learn a language.

Yeah, a lot of time was wasted at school. I sometimes think that we learned more at the summer garden parties, chess nights and Experience writings than we did in those classrooms...

21 - key to the door

Well finally! My beard has grown, the milk has started to curdle, my fingernails are longer... it's almost like old times, me waiting for you to reply... (takes off hat and salutes in true 17th Century Spanish courtly fashion)...

Now let's see... what would I like to see in the next 9 years... well:

- a complete turnaround in the British education system for one.
- decent bread in Japan.
- some decent Hollywood movies, and original ones, not remakes or sequels.
- Flick returning to Neighbours, and Neighbours being screened on Japanese TV.
- pickled eggs, custard and rice pudding getting the credit they deserve.

By the way, yesterday was a very important day in the annals of Hartismere history... for it was 14 years since we broke up for our first Summer holiday, way back at the end of year 7.

19 green bottles..

160. The emergence of the first proper 3D 3rd person shooter (Unreal, 1997).
159. The rise of Beckham.
158. Decent personal computers.
157. Ahnuld as Governor of CA.
156. The once ambiguous name, Harry Potter.

Just 17

175. The death of Princess Diana.
174. The emergence of Dubya.
173. China's emergence as a global power.
172. A very crap period of music, c.1998-2000, which was mercifully lanced by the debut of Coldplay.
171. The all-conquering DVD, which was once just a passing fancy occupying half a shelf in HMV, and has now sent VHS shuffling into the bargain bin.
170. Air conditioning becoming standard in most new cars.
169. Almost every TV show in the UK now being sponsored (back in 1996 there were only a few indy-style shows that did this).
168. When the music died, so did TFI Friday.
167. Channel 5, which still hasn't sorted out it's terrestrial reception, 8 years on.
166. The three Star Wars prequels, which have done a lot to damage the reputation of the legacy and the patience and patronage of it's many fans.

15 (to 1, with that bastard William G Stewart)

190. The League of Gentlemen have taken comedy to a new level.
189. September the 11th has significance.
188. Gary Glitter is disgraced.
187. Jonathon King is disgraced.
186. R Kelly is (virtually) disgraced.
185. Teenagers don't know who Mark Morrison is.
184. Big Brother.
183. Pete Sampras is no longer the king of Wimbledon.
182. The Williams sisters have changed women's tennis forever.
181. Alicia Silverstone is unheard of.

Bakers Dozen

Whilst I can't say I ever had a crush on Hargadon, it can't be denied that she had the whole "sex is power" thing going on. True, there were no young attractive teachers when we were there... the youngest was probably Miss Tombs, but dandruff and grease were never my thing.

Ahh, the world.. how it changes! Let's make a list of how the world has changed in 9 years... let's think of 200 things, and write them down... I'll start us off...

200. Richard Whitely is dead.
199. Labour are in power.
198. The internet is all encompassing.
197. Saddam Hussein is deposed.
196. Everyone has a mobile phone.

Legs 11

Sounds like just another imitation that relied on a superficial gimmick and soon disappeared by the wayside. Again, the girl's experience must be mentioned (note the lack of capitals), for it was the prime example of an attempt to gain fame on the back of our esteemed tome. I can still see Laura and Jessica in Science, holding the very crisp rough book and making sure I could see the colourfully written title on the front cover, complete with flower designs. It could only fail. As you said, it was a place where about four girls could write about cds, boybands and Just 17 gossip. What had we to fear? Fuck all! The Experience had stories, philosophy, poetry and was a place where you could vent your spleen without fear of repurcussions or judgements. Teenage years are full of angst and pent up feelings, so in many ways we were giving an outlet to that.

It is a shame that it has taken 9 years for the Experience to resurface, for it is sorely needed in this day and age.

Revolution no. 9

Indeed I am, and proud to boot...

I have to confess that I'm intrigued by your mention of The Pickle and Akers Guide in an earlier post. I distantly remember that "Red Boots" McGeever confiscated it during maths once, but that's all I know about this mysterious document. Can you shed any more light on it? What things were discussed in this guide? How long did it last?

7

Yeah, commercialization is slowly killing the country. Having been in Japan for a year and a half, I'm not sure if things in England are the same, but around the time that I left a new fad was a mobile phone that looked like an electronic organiser, and allowed you to write text messages whilst you were speaking on the phone. Surely this symbolizes the very worst aspect of the modern society - we are not talking to eachother meaningfully, face to face, anymore. I can't think of many things more annoying than when you are talking to someone, and they break off to look at a text message. And now, even the superficial, faux communication over the phone is being affected. (As a quick aside, I can't fathom the fascination with mobile phone ringtones. If they were free, fair enough but when you have to pay upwards of £1.50 for an annoyingsynthesizedd tune that makes you appear like a prize teat it makes me shake my head in sheer disbelief.)
You hit the nail on the head, Diamond. We are becoming lazy and subservient, just so the stock of a few corporations will go up a tenth of a percent. Money is what rules the world, and I for one want to beat my fists with despair.
I live in Japan, where conservatism in the workplace is king, even in this age of green haired teenagers andAmericanization. But the same things happen all over the modernized world, including England. Money is the drum beat to which we are all blindly, unwittingly, moving.
I'm glad that you brought up banking, because it's got to be one of the worst aspects of 21st century England. If you are overdrawn by a few pennies, you are unable to take out any money at a cash machine. However, the bank will gladly send you a letter, informing you that you are overdrawn, and charge you a nominal fee, thus overdrawing you further. Should you try to contact your bank to sort this out, you find that your bank doesn't have a phone number. You speak to a recorded message, and are encouraged to visit your branch. So you do, and find that it is ludicrously busy, with only one window out of five being open, despite this being lunchtime and the busiest time of the day.
I used internet banking for a few years, if only because it meant that I didn't have to face the hassle of going to the bank and beingpatronizedd and treated like an idiot. My wages were paid into my account, I checked the balances on the net, and took money from the cash point and often used my debit card in shops. This is all very convenient, but it's just another example of people being manipulated into spending more money and becoming docile and easy to bend and shape. I was always very careful with my money in England, but it would have been so easy to rack up debts on my credit card, and succumb to all those in store special offers that seem like good deals but really just end up costing you money. We are encouraged to "take advantage of" special deals, but of course we are the ones who are being played.
Living simply and contentedly is very difficult to achieve, as you touched on. To live in a quiet place surrounded by nature, to eat healthy food, to spend time with friends and family. These are all very difficult to do. The fact that eating junk food is cheaper and easier than eating organic fruit and vegetables should be keeping everyone awake at night, but I fear that it isn't.

5

Good question... I think the idea of hope and glory more relevant than at first appears. England is full of hope, hope that things will improve (the transport system, education, healthcare), although these tend to be individual hopes, and I wonder whether we English have the inner drive and passion to make things change, rather than just talking about change. And there is glory to be found (the sleepy contemplation of the countryside, the mercifully mild summers, the dawn chorus of the birds), although again these take the form of a very personal, insular kind of glory.

Air Strip One? Yes, for the time being. As part of the United Kingdom, England is literally the stepping stone between the USA and Europe, and is a tactical political and geographical lodestone for both parties. Due to the USA being the most powerful country in the world, and England owing it a moral and monetary debt for World War II, England has continued to be in pawn to it's larger ally for the last 50+ years. And as the USA needs to stroke Europe and keep it onside, it naturally uses England's postition to do this.

What do you think?

3

Well, of course the events you have already said are foremost in my mind... however, on a domestic front, here are the things that made it a memorable week for me:

- My school's sports festival, where things like this happened.

- Eating, quite reluctantly, sea snails and sour urchins at Yoko's parents' barbecue.

- When my "mama-chari" bicycle (old lady style bicycle) broke down during a heavy downpour, during which I had no umbrella, and had to repair it on the street, whilst passing Japanese housewives helpfully told me that it was raining and I was getting wet.

Now for this week... as I write this, I am watching the sumo on tv, and looking forward to cheap bowling tonight. The heady aroma of coffee is in the air, and I have a strange urge to watch Mad Max 2...

How was the rave, Diamond? It may surprise you to know that I have never been to one. Do tell.

1

Welcome to the first entry in the new and improved - and for the first time, online - Experience! What began as a way to pass time during year 8 modern language classes in high school has now evolved into a blog that traverses the continents and unites, at least to begin with, England and Japan!

Without further ado, I shall pass the shoe as it were to my very good friend and co-founder of the Experience, James "Darkhouse" Diamond, who is busy working in an English office. Diamond! How are you?